Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
