i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize