My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
