I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
