It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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