You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I believe in your delicious
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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