You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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