I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
