What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
