we made out on top of his cat.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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