your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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