I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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