I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
