We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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