never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize