come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
