i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
