I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
