Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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