Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
