He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
