if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
