a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
