lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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