There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Randomize
