I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
did i walk over a car last night?
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
