I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
People with herpes should wear stickers.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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