He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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