Sry I called you an 8
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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