You made me cry and you don't even care
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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