Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Less talking, more tequila
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
