so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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