Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
