Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
