My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
