mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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