How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
