went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
