Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
