remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
