Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
