it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
