This girl is more easily done than said...
I showed him my bush... on skype.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
