My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Bring me that man meat
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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