i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize