We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
