Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
