I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
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