we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I fill condoms, not promises.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize