The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
