Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize