Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
