My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
