he shaved USA in his pubs
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
