; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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