Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize