I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
