I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We named our party play list daddy issues
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
