Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
