she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
