That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
