girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Randomize