I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
