my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
