It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
