WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
