I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I don't think brook has ever known best
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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