ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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