We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Just high enough for therapy.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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