ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You took a bar mat shot.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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