if only i could text you this smell
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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