I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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