it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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