did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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