I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He passed out mid-signature
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
did i just pee glitter
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
